Title: The Time You Put a Goat in Jerzy's Room
Rating: PG13
Summary: It was Bellamy. It was always going to be Bellamy.
Required Reading (all of which is longer and way funnier than this story):
1. Mostly because it's amazing, not because the crack it inspired has any plot to follow... because it really, really doesn't:

( You’ll fondly remember the time you put a goat in Jerzy’s room and shiver with dull regret. )